Rapists are not always strangers. When someone you know—a date, steady, acquaintance, or casual friend—forces you to have sex, it is still rape.
• Always tell someone where you are going with your date and when you are
expected to return.
• Check out a first date or a blind date with friends. Meet in and go to public
places. Carry money for a taxi or take your own car in case you need to cut
the date short.
• Pay attention to what your date says about himself. If you detect
discrepancies this should raise a flag.
• Trust your instincts. If a place or the way your date acts makes you
nervous or uneasy get away from the situation.
• When out with friends, keep together and try not to get separated. Do not
leave a social event with someone you have just met or do not know well.
• Be careful not to let alcohol or other drugs decrease your ability to take care
of yourself and make sensible decisions.
• Do not accept beverages from someone you do not know or trust. Always
watch your drink and never leave it unattended.
• Use common sense. Realize that you do not have the right to force a
woman to have sex just because you paid for her dinner or drinks.
• Accept a woman’s decision when she says, “No!” Do not interpret it as a
• Avoid clouding your judgment and understanding of what another person
wants by using alcohol or drugs.
• Do not assume that a woman wants to have sex just because she is drinking
heavily, the way she dresses, or agrees to go home with you.
• Never have sex with anyone who is passed out.
• Do not assume that just because a woman has had sex with you previously
she is willing to have sex with you again.
• Do not assume that if a woman consents to kissing or other sexual intimacies
she is willing to have sexual intercourse.
• Realize that forcing a woman to have sex against her will is rape, a violent
crime with serious consequences.
• Never be drawn into a gang rape. Be prepared to resist pressure from friends
• If you see a woman in trouble at a party or a male friend using force or
pressuring a woman, do not be afraid to intervene. Your intervention may
prevent the woman from the trauma of sexual assault or not to mention
preventing your friend from the ordeal of criminal repercussions.
• Ask yourself how sexual stereotypes affect your attitudes and actions
• Seek counseling or a support group to help you deal with feelings of violence
and aggression toward women.
If you become a victim of date rape….
• Get help. Do not isolate yourself, do not feel guilty, and do not ignore it. It
is a crime and should be reported.
• Get medical attention as soon as possible. Do not shower, wash, douche, or
change your clothes. Valuable evidence could be destroyed.
• Get counseling to deal with the emotional trauma.
• If you think you’ve been assaulted while under the influence of Rohypnol,
GHB, seek help immediately. Try not to urinate before providing urine
samples, and if possible collect any glasses from which you drank.
What are “date rape” drugs….
• Rohyponol (“roofies,” “circles,” “the forget pills”) works like a tranquilizer. It
causes muscle weakness, fatigue, slurred speech, loss of motor coordination
and judgment, and amnesia that lasts up to 24 hours. It looks like an aspirin
(small, white, and round).
• GHB (also known as “liquid X,” “salt water,” or “scoop”) causes quick
sedation. Its effects are drowsiness, nausea, vomiting, headaches,
dizziness, coma, and possibly death. Its most common form is a clear liquid,
although it also can take the form of a white, grainy powder.
Rohypnol and GHB are called the date rape drugs because when they are slipped into someone’s drink a sexual assault can take place without the victim being able to remember what happened.
On Line Dating
• Never give out your home address, phone number, the name of your school
or any other personal details to people you do not know.
• If you decide to talk to someone on the phone, ask to call him/her. Make
sure to use caller ID block (*67).
• Use a nickname in chat rooms or message boards.
• Trust your instincts. If you pick up on contradictions or inconsistencies from
your chat friend, or something does not feel right, end your communication
• Meet chat friends in public places.
• Always tell someone where you are going with your on-line date and when
you will return.
• Take a cell phone with you.
• Never go to someone’s house that you have just met.